Assume the Worst – The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear – by Carl Hiaasen (Illustrations by Roz Chast)

I say unto you – get thee to the library and get this little gem out.  It won't take up much of your time – there are less than 40 pages and they are about 6 inches by 5 inches.  About 40% is taken up with Roz Chast's illustrations.  I've posted about her work before here and here.

The unexpected bonus was that I really enjoyed the writing of Carl Hiaasen – who usually writes comedy crime works.  I didn't agree with it all but it was fun.

The book is a spoof graduation speech which looks at things people often say and then skewers them in a funny way.

Here is a small extract to give you the flavour – it comments on advice such as 'Try to find goodness in every one you meet':

'Another waste of time. Relationships aren't supposed to be reclamation projects.  The humane qualities of any new acquaintance should be evident in the first five minutes of conversation – ten minutes, tops.

If it requires the psychological equivalent of a metal detector to locate somebody's true self, then they're not worth the trouble.  Life is short.  Say good-bye'