Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher

Dear Committee Members may not be everyone's cup of tea.  But for me, it was intensely delightful.  It's form is not normal – it is just a series of letters from an English professor to others.  But these letters are absolutely hilarious.  Highly recommended.

To give you a taste I have chosen one short letter to a prospective employer:

Dear Ms. Wells,

I am overjoyed by the opportunity to recommend Mr. Duffy Napp to your firm.  Mr. Napp currently serves as the sole remaining member of what used to be the 'tech Help team' in our Department of English, and he clearly suffers under the burden of our collective ignorance.   Mr. Napp demonstrates all the winsome ebullience one expects these days from a young person more inclined to socialize with machines rather than human beings.   His approach to problem solving is characterized by sullenness punctuated by occasional brief bouts of good judgment.

Whatever I can do to assist in your – or any other firm's – hiring of Mr. Napp I will accomplish with resolution and zeal.

Hopefully, and with fingers crossed,

Jason T. Fitger
Professor of Creative Writing and English

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