Christmas –What to get him for Xmas?

I came across this advice sent to me in 1999 about what to buy men for Christmas but it is still pretty apposite today - and apologies for the lack of political correctness:

Here are some gift ideas for those special men in your life.  Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1 – When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill.  It does not matter if he already has one.  As a man you can never have too many.  No one knows why.

Rule #2 – If you can’t afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word “ratchet” or “socket” in it.

Rule #3 – If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.  A 99-cent ice scraper, or something to hang from his rear view mirror.

Rule #4 – Do not buy men socks.  Do not buy men ties.  And never buy men bathrobes.

Rule #5 – You can  buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.  If you have a lot of money buy your man a big screen tv.

Rule #6 – do not buy any man industrial sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.  I’m told they do not stink – they are earthy.

Rule #7 – buy men label makers.  Almost as good as cordless drills.  Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.

Rule #8 – Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box.  It will ruin his special day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #9 – Men love chain saws.  Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw.  If you don’t know why, please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #10 – It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder.  Never buy a real man a step ladder.  It must be an extension ladder.  No one knows why.